So, Jeff and I finally got the tree up yesterday. He went and picked it up on his way home from work, and it really made me realize once again how our lives have changed. He told me a story about how he was walking along at Trees of Joy, hearing a family "discussing" the perfect tree for their family, and it reminded him of our kids "discussions" through the years! He made a comment about how much fun we used to have going to Bethany Christmas Tree Farm in McDonough for so many, many years, and how much we looked forward to that as the start of our Christmas each year.
Christmas seems VERY different this year, in many ways; the most obvious, of course, is that my Mother is no longer with us. Although it is so reassuring to know where she is and that she is well, and standing up, if not TALL, at least STRAIGHT, I still miss her and often can hardly believe it even after almost a year. A note on her shortness, she was, after all, a Griffin/Eppinger woman, and they are NOT tall women! My grandmother (Mama) was not even 5 foot tall!
We have many many things to be thankful for! Jobs and a roof over our heads; all of our children will be with us for at least a few days, we have another beautiful granddaughter to look forward to meeting in February, and yet, I feel......sad? meloncholy? (How do you spell that word?) I can't seem to shake it. As I read my grief share devotions, and workbook, I understand and realize that what I am feeling is normal - that doesn't mean I like it!
I am trying to feel positive and excited, and I know that I will be fine once they all start arriving on Thursday - THURSDAY! - but I wonder already how I will be when they all go back to other places (I refuse to say "home). I'll be fine - I know that the Lord will hold me up through this season of my life, just keep praying for me!
